<p>Somewhere along the way, I started thinking I was a criminal.</p>

<p>It did not happen overnight. I grew up hearing, over and over, what kind of person one of my parents was. And at some point my brain made the next step, like a kid does. If that is who they are, then that must be who I am. Yeah.</p>

<h2>Rebelling against everything</h2>

<p>To be honest, I was already fighting by then. I went against everything. I wanted to prove that I did not belong to what they wanted me to be. I was expelled from school. I did not fit in anywhere, and the more I did not fit, the harder I pushed back.</p>

<p>So when the idea came that I was a criminal, I did not fight that one. I tried it on.</p>

<figure><img src="https://ezycourse.b-cdn.net/2104/cmv0k4d660d7801z66wg560cr.jpg" alt="Chenzo standing in front of large green leaves, one hand at his chin, looking off to the side with a faint smile." style="width:100%;max-width:440px;border-radius:12px;display:block;margin:20px auto;"/></figure>

<h2>I tried it on, and it did not fit</h2>

<p>I went down that path for a few years. I do not need to tell you the details. What matters is what happened next. I found out, very quickly, that I did not want it at all.</p>

<p>That is not who I am.</p>

<p>I found that out very quickly. Yeah.</p>

<h2>Who is talking in your head?</h2>

<p>Here is what I would ask you. What story were you told about who you are? By your family, by school, by a group, by somebody who got it wrong. And how long did you hear it?</p>

<p>Because if you heard it long enough, you may have started living inside it. That is not weakness. That is what a child does with the words around them.</p>

<p>Try this. Write down the labels you were given. Next to each one, write whose voice it is. Not yours? Then ask what you actually want. Not what you were told you are. What you want.</p>

<h2>Finding out for myself</h2>

<p>After that, I went to look for myself. I moved to Aruba and started exploring what life is, what healthy masculinity is, and who I am. Not who they said. Who I am.</p>

<p>I am not telling you it was a straight line. It was not. I am telling you the label was never the truth, and I found that out the only way I could, by trying it on and being honest about how it felt.</p>

<figure><img src="https://ezycourse.b-cdn.net/2104/cmv0k4taq0bg201z53idt9fei.jpg" alt="Chenzo standing under a covered terrace with plants behind him, looking straight at the camera." style="width:100%;max-width:440px;border-radius:12px;display:block;margin:20px auto;"/></figure>

<p>So anyway. If a label does not fit, you are allowed to take it off.</p>

<p>If you want help figuring out which of those stories were never yours, you can <a href="https://cal.com/chenzoholisticcoaching/free-30-min-online-discovery-session-discover-your-next-step">book a free discovery call</a> with me. Thirty minutes, no pressure.</p>

<p>With love,<br/>Chenzo Holistic Coaching<br/>Founder of The Purpose Path Podcast</p>

I was told who I was for so long that I started to believe it. Then I tried it on for real and found out it did not fit. This is how I stepped out.

Who They Said I Was vs Who I Really Was

I Believed I Was Who They Said I Was. Then I Found Out I Wasn't.

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.


Chenzo Holistic Coaching Blog: Somatic Healing, Sensitivity & Purpose

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.

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I Believed I Was Who They Said I Was. Then I Found Out I Wasn't.

I Believed I Was Who They Said I Was. Then I Found Out I Wasn't.

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